Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
This last phrase of verse 12 was on the cover of the program my husband and I used for our wedding service. The message implied by the author of Ecclesiastes is that one person cannot tackle the challenges of life alone. We need a support, a team that journeys with us, working alongside us, assisting us as we accomplish the work God created in advance for us to do.
The author of Ecclesiastes intended the metaphor in verses 9 to 12 as instruction for a healthy and successful life. He starts out stating the benefit of a partnership compared to loneliness. The two people in the relationship work together, while also providing safety and comfort for one another. If one falls, the other will lift him up. If two are out in the elements, exposed and in danger of freezing, they can share the heat between the two of them. But one lonely person, exposed to the danger alone, has no way of generating enough warmth on their own to survive.
The same is true when facing enemies. Verse 10 tells us that one person standing by themselves has a greater chance of defeat, but two people teamed up and unified can withstand hostile forces.
We need companionship. Vital to our lives are the people who stay by our sides, committed and faithful as our friends, our family members, or our spouse.
These people believe in us. They cheer us on and help us place confidence in ourselves when we feel tired, defeated, and ready to give up. They love us for who we are, in our best moments and in our worst. Companionship, security, and comfort are the defining features of these healthy relationships.
As we practice loving in this way, God himself is seen among us. He moves and dances in our actions so that we mirror him to each other.
The author of Ecclesiastes saves the best for last. Building from the loneliness of a single person to the mutual support of two people, he ends with a statement of three. The picture of a cord woven with three strands points to a deeper reality behind the companionship. Who is this third strand? It is God himself. He lifts both partners up. He is their comfort and security. His commitment to both of them under girds their faithfulness to one another.
A cord of three strands is not easily broken. God-honoring relationships are durable. They stand through peril and uncertainty. Why? Not because the people involved in these relationships are so powerful and wise, but because God is strong. And he is love. His holy love is the strongest force in the world. Absolutely nothing can overcome it.
When we live in this love, we have much to give. It strengthens us from the inside out. In our professional relationships, with our families, or in our marriages, we can offer companionship as we dispense comfort and security to everyone around us. God’s faithfulness and his love are behind it, and when we offer him to others, he becomes visible as the strongest strand holding all the others together.
